Chronicles of the Wayward Moot

WELCOME TO THE MOOT, oh world-wanderers and word-whisperers. After two years of Peace Corps. After 2,200 miles on the Pacific Crest Trail. What. Comes. Next?

20/05/2005

Yes.

I saw Star Wars Episode III at the 12:10am showing. There were costumed Jedi warriors, there were little kids, there were regular people. The line was insane, even 15 miles out of the city. I had four chilled Red Bulls in my pack and a folding chair. After my three buddies showed up and we toasted to the Force, the real fun began. The collective pulse of the crowd quickened palpably. I folded up my stool and stood leaning against the wall, trying to act unconcerned that the "final" Star Wars film was about to be burned across my retinas, capping off the cinematic portion of a minor obsession that began when for some forgotten reason, picked up a copy of Timothy Zahn's best-selling novel Heir to the Empire and for the first time immersed myself in the vast collection of adventure and lore that is the Star Wars universe. That was 1991. Now, 14 years later, I'm almost twice as old, and the magic is still there for the most part.

My gripes about the film:
Padme was a totally weak character and used so little in this movie she might as well have been left out completeley. Whereas before she was a brave swashbuckling senator, fighting with monsters and shooting her way into and out of trouble, this time around she's just a scared, reclusive, sobbing crybaby. If she has anything to cry about, it's that she was romantically linked to Hayden Christensen off-set. Blegh. Party foul. Padme's death seems to be the trick up Palpatine's sleeve that finally convinces Anakin to fully embrace the Dark side. If she's that key to who Anakin becomes, then why not let her play a larger and more engaging part in the damned movie? Sneaking around in the shadows of a civil war, she's not believable as the same woman we met in the first two films.

Wookiees! Why oh why did the vertically-challenged Ewoks get a half hour of intense battle action screen-time in Return of the Jedi, complete with death/mourning scenes as well as a musical celebration ... and the much cooler and much more anticipated Wookiees got the shaft in Revenge of the Sith? Five minutes of half-assed fighting, with absolutely no glimpse of real Wookiee culture, Wookiee children, Wookiee women? All we got was one tribal war yell and a bunch of Tarzan wannabees. Hell, we got to see a female Hutt in Episode I, so why give the Wookiees no love? Booooooo.

Villains: As with Darth Maul, the overhyped "star" of Episode I, why were Count Dooku and General Grevious so quickly and easily dispatched? If you're going to build up the badassitude of a villain, then at least let them do some damage and wreak some havoc. Show, don't tell, dammit.

The Jedi!
-Why was it so easy for Palpatine to kill the two Jedi who came with Mace Windu to arrest him? They didn't even get one block in...bullshit!
-How could Mace really want to kill Palpatine once Anakin showed up and could have helped him bring the evil leader to justice? It seems un-Jedi-like to desire to kill the unarmed enemy like that.
-Later, why does Yoda just suddenly give up and decide to go into exile? He nearly whooped Sidious by himself ... if he had one other warrior to fight with him it seems more than likely that Sidious would have fallen.
-Why did Obi-Wan just leave Anakin to die on Mustafar? He takes the fallen Jedi's lightsaber and then just walks off to feed some bullshit to Padme. Was it because he thought Anakin was dead? If he knew Anakin wasn't dead, then how could he just leave his wayward apprentice there? It doesn't seem like good practice for Obi-Wan to just give up on Anakin since he fought so hard earlier on just to have the chance to train him.

There's lots more of course, but I'll have to stew on this for a while.

1 Comments:

Blogger nothalo said...

Are you contradicting yourself by questioning if it was unjedi-like for
Mace to kill the unarmed palatine
and yet you want Obi-want to kill the unarmed luke?

6:47 PM  

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