PHOTO GRAB BAG! WOO HOO!

Here are the six candidatas for Reina de Zaruma 2007. There are even more candidatas for the title of Reina de Cafe. Not too sure what the difference in prestige is. Would you rather have your daughter be the Queen of Zaruma or the Queen of Coffee (Sounds like a good name for an old riverboat...) Portovelo, down in the valley, has a Queen of Mining, so anything is possible. In fact, this year I missed my second shance to go down to Machala and witness the crowning of the International Banana Queen. Now there´s a joke waiting to be written. As for these Queenly hopefuls above, the girls are pretty enough, but those are some fugly outfits. What´s with the spandex tights? Where´s all the cargo shorts and hiking boots at? Man, I gotta get outta here.

Workin hard or hardly workin? Two of the tourism office amigas and me sneaking a bit of nasty sweet dessert wine after lunch. I love my counterpart organization.

A dwarf lip-synching while wearing a jacket with cowboy fringe and rhinestones. No joke. I love my site. They know how to party. I mean who else parties with a dwarf named Alejandro? Snoop Dogg don't have no lip-synching dwarves at his parties I bet.

I didn't take this photo, so please excuse the blurriness. I think that thing on the right is supposed to be Ronald Reagan wearing heels. After the dwarf fun, these people came out dressed in the scariest costumes. Children were screaming and clinging to their mothers. Apparently they were supposed to be "tourists" or something. My oh my, is that what white people look like to the Zarumeños? I gotta get outta here. But not before dancing up a storm with the "tourists," which I did.

Dad ...